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Martin Smith's blog – 19 March 2010

TRANSITIONS Part 2
Making Sense of Life's Changes

'SURRENDER'

In the last blog I wrote, I intimated that 'change' was coming. I think most of us accept that and will be keen to embrace it at different levels in our lives. This week I've been thinking more about 'why' change happens and why a God who never changes seems to be absolutely committed to it. So why do things shift in our lives? Why do we experience the pain of 'growth'? My conclusion is simply that God really likes us, in fact he really loves us, and he thinks the world of us and believes we can be better than we were yesterday. It seems that our lives are a journey of discovering what we were always created to be in the first place. The people God had in mind.

He doesn't want us just to be 'good' he wants us to be 'great'. Being 'great' must not be confused with being great at things. Being successful in our vocations is of course very subjective and usually measured through a secular eye piece, but that cannot be put anywhere on the same scale as being 'great' in the eyes of God. The people who I admire the most seem to be comfortable in their skin, realistic about their reason for being on the planet, love God and have a radical 'upside-down' approach to the meaning of true 'greatness'. There is a huge temptation in our Christian culture right now to confuse 'good' with 'God'. We have tricked ourselves into believing that filling our lives constantly with doing 'good' will get us to God. 'Bad' is not the enemy of good, but good is the enemy of 'great'.

So, how do we be great and why should we bother? Its right in the very storm of transition that we get an incredible opportunity to, stop, think, re-shape, re-define and ask God in all his kindness to bring his holy soldering iron to us for an extensive re-wire. OUCH! I do not like the idea of that on my flesh. I do not like the idea of hot coals placed on my lips, Isaiah style. I do not like to be fixed, it's not good for my pride and ego but 'good' is not an option anymore because this planet needs people who understand the greatness of God and who are willing to surrender everything in their 'flesh' to be magnificent followers of Christ. But it's in this 'in betweeness', space and rest that we find the gold. Again William Bridges refers to it as the 'neutral zone'.

  1. This is a time that seems "built-in" to the structure of transition. It is the germination time between an ending and the birth of a beginning. It is difficult for modern, fast paced, technological people to embrace and value. For us, emptiness and aloneness only represent the absence of things. We try to replace missing elements ASAP (thus the adage "on the rebound"). We have a difficult time seeing what is gained (perspective, the chance for personal transformation, etc.) during these times. To employ a metaphor, we want to get across the street ASAP, we cannot fathom that there would be any usefulness in the middle of the street. However, it is interesting that though we have this innate suspicion, most people find that during a transition they need temporary isolation away from familiar distractions in order to think.
  2. We need to learn to not be defensive about this apparently unproductive (other than intolerance, unproductiveness is perhaps the biggest societal sin one could commit) time-out at turning points in our lives.
  3. The neutral zone is meant to be a moratorium from the conventional activity of our everyday existence. It is a gift—a space—for doing important inner business, the kind that leads to extraordinary kinds of personal and God-awareness.
  4. In the neutral zone we can often wonder if we are going crazy or experiencing enlightenment as we unlearn old self-images and take on new ones. The old is now transparent (what it really was – good and bad), but nothing new feels solid yet.
  5. In the neutral zone we learn to surrender: to give in to the process through trusting God. It is inviting God to act. Though we fear this may lead to chaos, the chaos envisioned here is not a mess; it is the primal state of pure energy – God's kind of energy – that leads to God's kind of creation. It is only from the perspective of the old form that chaos looks fearful—from any other perspective it looks like life in the making, soon to be shaped by new purpose and identity.

(Taken from 'Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes' (Publisher: Da Capo Press)

I certainly do not feel intelligent enough to understand all of this, nor am I in the strongest emotional place to even process this, as right now I am in that 'zone' myself. But what I am learning is the meaning of 'surrender'. To feel out of control and yet to trust in God is the beginning of greatness in his eyes. It's a daily choice that is not easy but will bear much fruit in the long term. My 4 year old Ruby said this week that she is 'allergic' to school. It's her first year and she doesn't like the 'bigness'. If we're honest we're allergic to change as we put our feet into a bigger set of shoes and try walking like we used to. The blisters always come as part of the process but in the end we get to run like the wind.

I was always useless at soldering guitar cables, but when done properly you can hear the difference believe me. As the hot iron goes into my heart I can feel the rewiring beginning. And you know what; I can already hear the difference.

Martin Smith
19 March 2010

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